As I may have mentioned, I’ve been invited to blog at Vibrant Nation, a website for women over 50. I blog there for visibility and the opportunity to engage with a wider audience. Today I wrote a post about sex, menopause and women over 50. Here’s an excerpt from the post, entitled : Sex After 50- Let’s Focus On the Positive Aspects of Sexuality.
For women who are going through menopause or have safely arrived on the other side, there are so many confusing messages about sex. Add being single to the mix and you often feel a little like Alice in Wonderland.
It’s one thing to go through life changes and concerns about sagging body parts with a long-term partner who has experienced the passage of time with you. But, to start a new relationship and consider sex with a new person is daunting. Will he be turned off by the less than taut body or the drooping breast line. What if….. what if….. It requires a little mental preparation to head into the world of sex after 50.
Will he be able to have an erection? Suppose he’s flabby and covered with little skin tags and odd patches of white hair? Most conversations about sex after 50 focus on the issues women might have. A recent Vibrant Nation blog by Susan Lee Ward (the persona of VN) talks about the sexual problems older women face. The article is well written and I’m sure it addresses issues experienced by some post-menopausal women. And, since the point of the article is to address the topic of dyspareunia and other problems it is right on target. I say this respectfully, but the article is a bit of a scare for older women. It sounds as if we’re all having painful intercourse and might expect other problems. Or that if we don’t have sex our vaginas will atrophy and close up! Good heavens. Should I run out and ‘jump’ the mailman if he stops by today? To read the rest of the article…..
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Yay! I didn’t know you were writing for Vibrant Nation, too. I say “too” although I’ve only posted once. I think you’re a great fit for them and will have lots to offer. I have a lot of good thoughts that I never get around to writing down. That Susan Lee Ward ‘persona’ thing bugs me, though. Does it you? I’m off to read the rest of your article…
I can’t believe I didn’t see your post on VN. I have been writing for them, and I still don’t understand how they categorize or publicize the posts. Duh. At any rate, the entire topic of sexuality over 50 makes my brain hurt. There are so many factors at play that weren’t there when we were younger. Men’s capability is a huge factor, whether we are married or just dating. And we might have our own issues, like vaginal dryness and body image. I think there are certainly women out there who are having great sex after age 50, but my guess is they are in the minority. Of course, where there’s a will, there will always be a way. It might just be a way requiring some flexibility and some compromise.
This was categorized in sexual health-by them, not me. It’s only my second post there. I’m unclear as to how you navigate the site at this point. I have seen one of your blogs.
I think sex is always about being flexible, having open communication and working together to find ways for mutual satisfaction. And, as we get older that is more important than ever. People forget that there are avenues to pleasure and satisfaction other than vaginal intercourse.
Awesome article and I am so proud of you! I am nearing 50 and finding I actually have more desire for sex than I did when I was in my 30′s. Yes, I have more sags, bags, and other assorted unattractive appendages but I like to think I make up for it with enthusiasm. Those who think older women don’t like sex anymore have never met us, sexy friend!
Yes, flexible in more ways than one. Like the idea of your little black bag.
oops, I failed to comment. The little toy bag is one of my favorites. Be prepared works for women as well as Boy Scouts!
You are so right!