One would think that with a full weekend I would have done a little more in-depth self care. Wrong. For some reason this weekend I needed to break my routines-sleep late, ignore some responsibilities and have no charted path. So, maybe in some ways I was following the Intentional Self-Care routine to the max?
I’ve spent too much time this week and almost all of Saturday dealing with an ailing computer. It was a major drain on my time, my money and my resources. But, as a writer, a functional, dependable computer is a necessity. I’m writing this post on a new computer. Sigh.
I find it hard to talk about selfishness in a way that doesn’t sound needy or selfish. I”m fulfilling my obligations-all of them-even the few that I don’t like. Even the one or two things in my life that bring me down and fill me with frustration and avoidance tactics. Why? Well, for the moment, they are obligations. Today I did some deep searching and have decided to get out of one of these situations. It doesn’t feel right. It’s really as simple as that. I’m doing something that doesn’t engage me or make me happy. And, I can’t see any real reason to continue down this path. It is a bit of a leap, but I’m used to these by now.
Tomorrow I will have the conversations that need to be had and then maybe I can talk about it. What’s important and what justified this post is about honoring self. I listened to my intuition. My face was pleasant and alert and conveyed, I hope, a “Can Do” attitude. With a little distance, and reflection I know I’m kidding myself and shortchanging others. I could go on with a list of excuses- I’m too old to do this, it stresses me….etc.
Ya wanna know what the real truth is? I’m doing something that doesn’t fit with my vision of myself. It doesn’t feel right and the reasons I’m doing it aren’t compelling enough for me to continue. If the whole 66 Days of Self-Care offer me nothing but this, it will have been well-worth my time. I’ve got clarity. No rhythm, but I’ve got clarity.
Joke, right. You got it didn’t you? No?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
“I’m doing something that doesn’t fit with my vision of myself.” Powerful words, indeed. And, hey, rhythm is a passing fad.
It was a powerful realization! And, as for rhythm-it’s never been one of my claims to fame.
Clarity rocks. With or without rhythm. Happy to hear this.
Breaking routines, playing hookey are essential parts of Self Care. How else are we supposed to hear ourselves if we don’t stop moving in rote for a while?
Bravo Bravo Bravo!
I’m trying to do the same thing now, stay (mostly) focused on things that fit my vision of myself. Or at least keep moving in that direction. Wish me luck and I’ll do the same to you!!